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So i was really bored yesterday and stumbled on my livejournal. can't believe i forgot i even had one. i ended up spending hours and hours reading entries, man i've had this thing since 2002!
Obviously alot has happened. Lets see. I shifted to a course im miserable in (but that's okay cause its quick and i graduate in a year) But i miss fine arts like anything...and i wish i could have stayed. Lor got the chicken pox, so we haven't been out in almost three weeks. Well not really, we went to see a movie in the mall yesterday (300 is awesome) but you can hardly count that as going out when you're sitting in the dark. I accidentaly got Jon Q and Tonet together..really 'effin weird. Eminot is doing okay, we're delivering a fresh new batch of designs pretty soon to Republic and Maze...but other than that..things have pretty much been the same, you know how cebu is.
I'm holding up alright. its weird how sometimes it feels like i'm stuck here.
Anyways, I miss you guys, and i can't wait to see you over summer. Hope everyone will be here for my birthday.
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Saturday, April 29th, 2006
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My mom at the breakfast table this morning: "What do you guys think about seeking help? you know, counseling?"
i swear i thought the ground fell from under my feet. not again.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
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happy birthday to me.
wow. i've never had so much bad luck on birthday in my life. is that a sign?
First off, in the eve of my birthday, Lor took me out for dinner then we had a few drinks in this place called badgers. So far, i was having fun and all that. Then we decided to play pool...which was cool, until i broke the stupid pool stick. don't ask me how, but i did. it just happened. so, i told the owner (who happened to be this really anal white dude) who was all "oh you're not coming back here to pay are you? there's a sign right there that all damaged items have to be paid for...and you know how much it's going to cost you? 500 pesos honey."
GRRRRRRRRR. i'm not going to effin DIE if i pay 500 bucks, and second, what a racist! just cause i'm filipino doesn't mean i'm dishonest.
AND THEN after leaving, half way home i realized that i left my phone in the bar. so we had to go all the way back...the LONG way, cause this guard wouldn't let us pass through the short cut cause it's one way. Even after explaining to him the situation and begging him to let us through. some people are heartless. really.
Then when we get to the bar, the owner of the bar wouldn't give me back my phone cause "how do i know you're really coming back?" . finally he did though. but still, he didn't have to give us such a hard time about it.
the next day, i was supposed to take my friends boating and i did, only like, some of them couldn't make it cause of this and that...and the weather wasn't cooperating. it looked like the set of twister outside. but, we all had fun anyway, the sky cleared up..and everyone had an awesome time. The highlight of my day tho was when lor came over really early in the morning to surprise me with his presents. sigh. i know, i know, hopeless romantic. so sue me...and when lor and i decided to go back to badgers and pay the owner 499 pesos in coins..then mighty bond the last peso to his car. heeheeheehee.
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Disasters pile up. thats what they do. for no apparent reason except to make lives miserable. i'm not good at handling mishaps and disasters. i have no sense of crisis control..and trying to make things better actually only accomplishes the opposite. so give me a pack of cigs, maybe some beer and i'll crawl into bed and feel better.or worse. or maybe both. why the worst possible things that can happen are dumped on me, i don't know.
distance breeds contempt. it leaves you blind and dumb and numbs your senses. expect the worst, because that's what happens when you don't know what to think.
no i'm not an alcoholic. but this one week away thing really, really sucks.
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Thursday, March 16th, 2006
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Summmer is so near. i can smeeeelll it. haha. i CANNOT wait until class is over. i'm dreaming of going to the beach..and spending lazy days doing nothing but eating and watching tv..and seeing all of you guys again!
its been extremely depressing in school. disasters are happening left and right, and there's one in particular that i have never freaked out over so much in my life..you never think something horrible will happen to someone you know. i wish i could bitch about it, but i can't.
i convinced Lor to join me in Yoga class today at the gym, and he convinced his friends to join him...so we all went together. Sadly, they only served as entertainment for the girls cause they looked so damn funny hopping around on one foot while waving their arms in the air. Even i had to laugh. they quit after like, twenty minutes. psshhh. boys. they can box and wrestle and beat up people and act tough but they can't do yoga.
anyway, its early to bed for me. finals tomorrow. yikes.
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Friday, February 17th, 2006
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wow. it feels like i've severed myself from the world. but i'm back and i see i've missed alot.
First of all:
Ria, i'm sorry about your gramma...that was the most beautiful love story i've ever heard..i'm sure your grandpa misses her alot. i cried my eyes out reading that entry. but i guess in a way it gives all of us some hope. miss ya.
I'm doing okay. Busy getting my act together (how long have i been saying that now? haha) but i guess at least i'm getting somewhere. im working out again...now i remember why i hate it so much. i don't think i really need it, NEED it, but exercise is always a good thing (except when it just reminds you how out of shape you really are)
i'm shifting courses. yes i know, i was born to be in fine arts but my mom wants me to be practical. she says its a passion course, and considering my character, i will die in the world in advertising. which i think is true...i'm not competitive at all. sayang, i'm 3rd year na. but oh well, it's never too late.
other than that, i spend all of my time with Lor. and that keeps my happily occupied all the time.
hahay i miss all you guys..come visit cebu soon please? mwah.
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Monday, January 9th, 2006
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"It is only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything."
I just had dinner with both my parents for the first time in almost a year. Andy and my mom sat on one side, my dad and i on the other. it only reminded me of how much time really does change things. As nice as it was that we were all together, it just felt, well..weird. i was tense from the appetizers to desert. And it broke my heart when we had to leave because i knew after saying goodbye my dad was going home to an empty house.
Things are okay. Not bad, or good exactly. i can't believe a year has already gone by. i waded through so much trouble that its hard to believe i am where i am right now. I should have grown nerves of steel after that, but no. i guess right now i'm just waiting to see if things are going to hold up.
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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
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....And so ends the holidays. what a mess, what a mess. Alot of unspeakable things happened...the LEAST of which was me and lor getting food poisoning on new years eve.
But at the same time there were beautiful moments here and there and i guess for that i should be thankful.
Ria and celyn are gone =( so much for nights out with the girls. lol. oh well. i haven't been this depressed about school starting again in a long time.
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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
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This has probably been the most stressful christmas ever. i haven't even gotten to see any of the girls yet and it totally sucks.
Chez is in Canada with stan, My dad spent christmas with his side of the family. I spent it with my mom and her family...it was a very very small and quiet family get-together, and all we did all night was sing along to gimy and aj playing the guitar for Nono, my grandpa who is very sick and bed ridden.
There were however, beautiful priceless moments...The baby girl in his arms finally...the look on his face when he opened his gifts..Seeing Nono smile..hanging out with family..
Lor's birthday tomorrow..i hope it doesn't rain.
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Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:07 pm. |
| Mood: |  blah. | | Music: | that dog-family functions. |
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i can't believe it's going to be christmas next week. this whole town is so dead. or maybe i'm just getting old. i don't feel very christmasy at all...
it's going to be a lonely christmas indeed. aside from having to spend it with my parents not together, chez is going to be canada. so so so sad.
i don't like this growing up thing very much.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, December 10th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:02 am. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. | | Music: | imogen heap-hide and seek. |
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First off, thanks you guys! hehe = )
it's been awhile since i last updated...way too many things happened to type it all down. but so far it's been cool.
My dad talked to me a few days back. it was about something i did a long time ago, i don't know why it only came up now (was it something i did?) or why this person even bothered to do something about it after i apologized, and after i've been doing so well now..hmmmm. but whatever, no real damage was done..no groundings or punishment of any kind..(which would have been really stupid because that would be completely pointless) We just sat and had coffee and contemplated..i even told my mom about it and she didn't freak out. This is a sign. The dark ages are over. lol.
Maybe i should pull a worry-and-tell myself. i'm genuinely concerned. something should be done.
anyway, it's so much easier for me now that my mom knows about lor. i can go out anytime i want to without having a hard time asking for permission and stuff, while she sleeps better at night. lol. speaking of which, we didn't really go out last night, seeing as how he was sick...adult swim on tv had to make do for entertainment. which in my opinion is so much better after countless weekends in vudu and formo and vudu and formo and vudu and formo...bleagh. i'm up to my ears sick of it.
it's almost chirstmas and i haven't wrapped a single present. and i used to be so good at this.
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Saturday, November 19th, 2005
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My mom likes him!! phew. The minute i heard her utter the words "The next time you come over for dinner..." my heart skipped a beat. i think things went pretty well, it was alittle weird at first but by the time we were eating desert we were cracking jokes and talking about my grandma's corn-beef. Plus he thinks my mom is cool..well, lets see how long that lasts. I hope she stays nice.
Man, this Ad. Con. thing is REALLY annoying. Formo and Vudu were packed last night (not that we go there all the time, but it was the re-opening). psshhh. it took as an hour to park and you couldn't walk around without getting stepped on or getting hit.
For once i'm not so stressed out or depressed about something. it feels really good.
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Thursday, November 17th, 2005
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| Time: | 6:29 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | badly drawn boy-silent sigh. |
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Nervousness. i'm bringing Lor over for dinner with my mom tomorrow night and there's no turning back. Finally. Although i have to admit it feels generally weird that she's going to well, know things. After years and years (okay..maybe not years and years. but awhile) of keeping her in the dark (with good reason i might add), it's a bit unnerving to suddenly drop the bomb on her. its both scary (really really scary) and a relief..but hey, things had to get normal sometime.
Other than that, things are fine. Considering. I guess now that things are going so well after that night (or at least i think so), i'm deathly afraid its going to happen again..or we might end up where we..ended up. if that makes sense at all...but there's no point in harping about it.
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Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
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School has officially started. among other things. My fingers are crossed and i hope things are going to get better. so far, it's been okay. great even. i'm praying with all my heart for the patches to hold...for the seams not to burst open..for me to keep it together.
i don't know. i guess i never thought that things would come to this. but i suppose you can't expect everything to be perfect all the time...
other than that, today was a good day. listening to anonymous cds...coffee at bo's...foot massages and indulging in jollibee after that.
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Thursday, November 10th, 2005
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Last minute shopping sprees are the best. you don't have time to think if it's practical to buy something or not...when you're in a hurry you just buy it..Especially when it's your mom who is spending and not you:
"How about this?"
"uh..yeah it's nice, just get that."
"But this is nice too. which one? i can't decide."
"uh..err..just get them both! hurry up!"
heehee.
Anyhoo..school doesn't seem to have started yet. teachers are missing. students are missing. classrooms are missing. no shit. i'm not complaining though, we got a whole extra week with no class right after sem break. booyah. Spent it with Lor and his 6 year old niece, niki. Magic mike-ing at 4 in the afternoon (what's loooooveee got to do, got to do with iiiiit), cartoons, pigging out..sleeping..renting videos..love it.
Chezka's birthday is tomorrow. i'd be more enthusiastic about it if she weren't so damn grouchy...it seems like she only comes home to yell at me about something like: "Stop stealing the shampoo!!" or "Close the door!" or "Why can't you keep my room clean?? it's so retarded!"....grrr argh.
i'm surprised that i still manage to go through the motions normally despite having alot of issues hanging over my head. it's not denial, or refusing to deal with them or anything...maybe they just haven't sunk in well enough.
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Thursday, November 3rd, 2005
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Well sem break is coming to a close. So sad. I'm almost sure that next semester is going to be difficult considering i've got more classes and all. Bummer. On the other hand, there's always christmas break to look forward to AND we're that much closer to summer.
Hopefully i have one last hurrah this friday...although i think my mom has had it UP TO HERE with me being out all the time. hehe.
i guess all in all this was a pretty good break...except for Nono being sick. he's really sick. he's been in and out of the hospital for almost a month now. cancer. go figure. it's hard for me to imagine nona without nono...i guess it never occured to me that they aren't going to be around forever..i think it's cause they seem so ageless to me.
well, i have nothing else much to report. the rest is either too depressing to think about or not interesting enough. oh well.
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Sunday, October 30th, 2005
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i hate having my period. i turn into an overly emotional psycho and it's getting in the way of everything. i want things to go back to normal.
Sem break has been aryt so far. i can't believe we start in a week already. i can't believe this year is almost over. i can't believe i'm going to be fourth year college next year. time has a way of sneaking up on you and making you feel old.
Saw celyn and hester yesterday. miss my homies. hehe. they're still the same. and that's a good thing.
i wish i knew how to keep something forever. i wish i knew how to handle something so pure and perfect. i wish i didn't have this self made fortress.i wish i knew how to give back.
.....nevermind. it's the pms-ing talking.
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Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
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<td align="center">You are 40% evil
You are not so evil. You are overall a nice person, although I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side. You have an extravagant imagination.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
hmmmmm. true enough.
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Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
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| Time: | 5:34 pm. |
| Mood: |  sore. |
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i'm back.
Malapascua was awesome. it was just the vacation i needed. except now i'm burnt to a crisp and i've got jellyfish bites all over my body...but it's all good. i'm just glad i've got my hands on the air con and tv AND computer again. (there isn't any electricity from 6pm to 12am in that tiny little island)..I have to say that the food was FANTASTIC. i thought we would be living on like, sugba and puso the whole time but man, those people know how to eat. i had everything from fruit filled pancakes to fresh fish topped with mozerella and pesto baked in the oven. yum yum.lol.
Highlights include being chased around by a crazy native called "sergio", snorkelling (the ship wreck was frikkin huge), going around town in little choppies..hehe..and the coconut oil massages.
now it's back to the real world. so so depressing.
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Monday, October 10th, 2005
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| Time: | 7:18 pm. |
| Mood: |  scared. | | Music: | maktub-just like murder. |
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One year tomorrow and counting. this is going to be one crazy week. i'm nervous and starving.
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cuznbiatch's journal